Slice of Cheese

The Alternative Guide to NPL Tas Week 6

Welcome to Week 6 of The Alternative Guide to NPL Tas. We saw an intriguing round of action last week, with the ladder leaders held at Wentworth Park, a heated contest at Valley road, and a serious of sandstorms surrounding the action at Lightwood Park. We also saw a record amount of Yellow and Red Cards dished out this week, a total of 28 cards over 4 games, an average of 7 per game! While we love the endeavour and determination shown by players and coaches week in and week out, it might be time to tone it down just a little bit, even if it’s just to keep the club’s Treasurer happy. A thank you stats man Benjamin Smith for this stat.

Shank of the season

Here at The Alternative Guide, we have certainly been enjoying the exploits of Hobart Zebras striker Mathew ‘The Colonel’ Sanders this season. We have already bestowed the honours of ‘Miss of the season’ and ‘Snake Handler of the season’ to the Colonel so far. However, it is time to acknowledge the skills of one of his team mates, Luke Huigsloot. This attempt at goal during the first half will have to go down as ‘Shank of the season’.

Huigy clearly leaned back into this shot, and got underneath it like a 9 iron out of the bunker. As you can see from the photo below, you would of needed 5 goals stacked on top of each other in order to hit the back of the net. We haven’t seen a ball hit this high around the Clarence Foreshore area since D’Arcy Short’s last innings down the road for the Hobart Hurricanes. Let’s hope one of the Zebras key player’s can get off the mark for the season sooner, rather than later. (1.29 min mark in the below vid)

More likely to hit a passing bird than the back of the net.

Post-match interviews – Anything but cliche

We are all used to hearing the usual clichés from players and managers when being interviews after the match. Most want to give ‘credit to the boys’, point out that the ‘the boys played well’ and they ‘gave 110%’, whilst the match was really ‘a game of two halves’. This week in the NPL, we heard a few… different post-match thoughts.

Mark Broadbent is always a favourite with the media, and following his sides narrow defeat to Northern Rangers, he was questioned regarding the consistency of his side. His response was a little out of the box.

“I believe that some points are going to fall our way, once the light bulb comes on. We flicking the light switch a lot, but I think, it’s not a matter of chasing the bulb, but it’s I think the electricity to the house is a bit poor.”

When asked about Lightwood Park’s new lighting installation, he responded by saying

“It’s all completed, it’s just a matter of bolting in and turning it on. That is a bit to do with our game as well, it’s in there, it’s just we’ve got to turn it on”

Mark has certainly brought some strong leadership, and his own spark, to the Kingborough Lions this season. Still struggling a little with this analogy though.

Meanwhile, I will first give full credit to Alex Holmes to fronting up to the media after his sides’s defeat to South Hobart. After conceding 2 goals in final 5 minutes, this is always a tough task. I do think that midway through his interview however, the Olympia defender forgot what sport he was playing. When asked on how he saw the game, Holmesy responded with

‘Scrappy, windy, it was quite dry out there. It was gripping and spinning and pretty slow. ‘

This analysis reminds me of what you hear reviewing an Indian test cricket wicket, rather than the turf of D’Arcy Street. It would be interesting to see Hobart Zebras offer Nathan Lyon a guest contract for the next NPL clash at D’Arcy Street.

You can view the interviews mentioned below, with Mark Broadbent electricity chat occurring at 2:10 and Alex Holmes’ cricket chat at 4:10

While we’re on the subject of coaches with the gift of the gab, this provides a wonderful excuse to remind you all of NPL Tas’ greatest exponent of the post-match presser. Eagle eyed viewers would of seen a glimpse of this at the end of our live stream of Launceston City’s match against Hobart United. Watch the final 90 seconds but not if you’re sensitive to expletives.

It’s sure is great to see Peter Savill still around the traps, and we certainly miss his entertaining interviews.

Salad of the week

In last week’s edition of Salad of the week, I alluded to some recent arrivals to the NPL who’s salads have caught my eye. I am not sure what is currently the ‘in’ fashion in Illinois, USA, but Gordy Gurson has certainly brought a splash of colour to the NPL. While the top of his salad is more akin to a Golden Retriever, his Pit Bull Terrier style of play had brought some much needed grunt to an Olympia strike force that is yet to really get off the ground this season. Now that he has settled in the state, and got a few games under his belt, I am hoping for more action, both on the score sheet, and on top of the dome, from the diminutive American striker.

Fun fact: He’s also the only NPL Tas player with a wikipedia article , or at least, a wikipedia article that has yet to be deleted.

Wannabee sports historian, advocate of Tasmania Tourism, Watcher of Salad and Man United/Central Coast Mariners diehard.