Slice of Cheese

The Alternative Guide to NPL Tas Weeks 12/13

Solstice Photography

Welcome back to another fortnightly edition of the ‘Alt Guide’. Quite a lot has caught the eye over the past 2 weeks, so without any further ado..

Reserve Goalkeepers as AR’s 

Chaos reigned at Warrior Park in the Round 12 clash between Olympia FC Warriors and Hobart Zebras, with one of the assistant referees failing to appear at the correct time, which lead to a long delay in starting the match. In last fortnight’s edition of the Alt Guide, we thought of some suggestions to make reserve goalkeepers more useful. Clearly this article got some traction in Western Australia, as we saw an NPL match between Perth Glory and Florent Athena feature Athena’s keeper running a line.

(photo: Florent Athena Facebook page)

The question has to be asked, where was our NPL sides reserve goalkeepers?! This would have meant the games starting on time, and meant the Slice of Cheese commentary team would not have had to embark on one of the longest fill-in conversations seen in some time.

Olympia Scoreboard

After South Hobart stormed to an early 2-0 lead after three minutes against Olympia in round 13, the match fizzled out into a relatively forgettable contest, save for Warren ‘The Postman’ Wadawu’s wonder goal. Fortunately, we had Olympia’s scoreboard to liven up proceedings, by forgetting how to correctly place the number 4.

Is this some sort of coded message? A possible cry for help from the Olympia faithful? In their defence, they have had to endure their sides huge drop off in form the last five games. Olympia have gained a mere three points from a possible fifteen, conceding eighteen goals in the process. Olympia have since acknowledged that this will be a season where the youth will get a run for the remainder of the season, although Kingborough is breathing right down their neck for 5th position.

Where will Markaj watch from this weekend? 

Rarely do we have an opportunity to say ‘I told you so’ here at the Alt Guide, but the idea of Markaj perched above the ‘landscape’ corner of Warrior Park came to fruition in their round 12 match-up. We do not know if Gabby got the idea from this article, but we will take credit for this. I would love to see the Toyota Echo get the Xzibit treatment, and get ‘pimped’ so he can watch the matches from a more comfortable position.

(Photo: Solstice Digital)

As we near the end of the suspension, time is running out for Markaj to watch his sides matches from a more unique vantage point. The example of the Turkish manager who hired a crane to watch their team play has been shared on social media already this week, but my favourite example of a manager determined to watch their team play is one from England. Poole Town manager Tom Killock managed to acquire the use of a house with a direct view of the clubs home ground, and watched the game comfortably perched in a skylight. It doesn’t take a huge amount of imagination to see Markaj engaging in something similar. Read more about this story here – https://www.bbc.com/sport/football/32123192

(Photo Credit: BBC)

Zebras are away at Buckby Land Rover Park for their next match, and those living at 13 Country Club Avenue may receive a knock on their door this week, asking if someone can sit in their backyard for two hours.

Salad of the week 

Last week, we saw no one earn the coveted title of ‘Salad of the week’. This fortnight, we have gone crazy here, and decided to present to you all a ‘quiff special’. This week, we have Connor Schmidt, Lucas Hill, Jakub Sklenar, and Jayden Hey all representing to some extent, the ‘quiff’.  Action shots rarely catch a player’s good side, and with Tasmania’s wind always a factor, this is a sight often seen at NPL grounds across the state.

All photos captured by the amazing Solstice Digital.

Photo of the week – Roaming Ken part II 

Last fortnight’s photo of the week featured South Hobart coach Ken Morton subtly scouting the opposition from his van at KGV. This fortnight, we see Ken keeping his eye Olympia from the very very far end of the ground. Still not quite out of the reach of the esteemed SOC photography team, and us here at the Alt Guide though. Little word yet on whether Ken will turn up around the grounds this weekend with a step ladder in tow..

He’s always watching.

Wannabee sports historian, advocate of Tasmania Tourism, Watcher of Salad and Man United/Central Coast Mariners diehard.